Time to escape my bubble.

So, I have finally found the guts to attempt the 12wbt. This is my first paid program since I did Jenny Craig 4 years ago, but I feel like I have been on some sort of diet or exercise plan for my whole life - yet I have never managed to achieve all my weight loss goals. I loose faith, it gets too hard, life takes over - but I realised this morning that I have been living 'on hold'. I have been putting off doing everything I want to do because I have let myself believe that my weight defines me. It doesn't. And I need to stop letting it. I need to escape my bubble. So I'm going to try and do that during this challenge. Instead of putting of my life until I hopefully complete the challenge and the fit me emerges, Im going to live as much along the way. That being said, I also realise that my weight does hold me back from doing some of the things I want to do. So I'm going to start this blog with a list of 100 reasons to stick to this challenge, something I can stick on my wall and remind myself why I need to keep doing this - even when it gets tough! So here they are -

100 reason to see this through! 

1) to have more energy
2) to FINALLY  be able to wear a bikini in public without being concerned someone will mistake me for a beached whale
3) to be able to keep up with my boy
4) to set my boy up with healthy habits for the future
5) to make sure he doesnt get teased for having a fat mum
6) to improve my sleep quality
7) to improve my skin
8) to stop being lazy
9) to say that I did it
10) to improve my chances of finding a job
11) to increase my confidence
12) to be able to do the city2surf
13) to be a runner
14) to be able to use my qualifications and start personal training
15) to increase my chances of finding a partner
16) to to enjoy going clothes shopping
17) to not feel judged going grocery shopping
18) to inspire others
19) to be able to take my boy to the beach without a second thought
20) to stop craving chocolate
21) to not feel like a heffer at the gym
22) so I never get chafe again
23) so my thighs don't touch
24) so my arms dont look like christmas hams
25) to reduce my cellulite
26) reduce my chances of getting varicose veins
27) reduce my chances of heart disease
28) to prove to certain people that yes, I can do it.
29) to do things without having to think about whether my weight will allow it
30) to keep up with the fit people on the treadmills
31) for people to ask me how I did it
32) to be able to have more kids
33) to have ankles
34) to have collarbones
35) to earn my reward of a new tattoo
36) to earn my reward of a trip to the hairdressers
37) to stop feeling jealous
38) to feel confident going out socially
39) to not feel like I stand out
40) to not second guess that Im too fat for every outfit I try on
41) to achieve a healthier self image
42) to find the confidence to make our big move!
43) to go in fit challenges with my friends, and not be scared I'm holding them back
44) to prove you don't need to have money and wear lorna jane to do it
45) to restore my faith in myself
46) to be able to wear my pretty lingerie.. and buy more! 
47) to fit into all my old pretty dresses
48) to show my legs in public
49) to not be so sweaty and yuck
50) to be able to deal with summer better.
51) to stop the snide comments
52) to not have to worry about my weight anymore
53) to take away my biggest excuse
54) to go bike riding with my son
55) to run with our future puppy
56) to wear pencil skirts
57) to fit through tight spaces
58) to be asked to help lift heavy things
59) to grow my muscles
60) to have a fantastic holiday, not worrying about my weight
61) to meet more people
62) to stop being an introvert
63) to take more pictures with my boy
64) to allow people to take pictures of me
65) to save money 
66) to have greater mental clarity
67) to combat depression
68) to be able to run to class 
69) to leg press 100kgs.. beat my old pb of 90kgs
70) to win a pushups competition
71) to [rove that you don't have to live on lettuce to look amazing
72) to run up the skillion
73) to find healthier ways to cook
74) to swim again
75) to step into my old clothes and see the difference
76) to empty my 'to go' jar and fill my 'gone' one
78) to not be scared 'im going to break it'
79) to complete my family
80) to enjoy life
81) to shock people
82) to look amazing at graduation
83) to wear whatever I want to graduation
84) to not be embarrassed to go to finale
85) to not hide from people I used to know
86) to hike
87) to learn to surf
89) to not be scared of taking my son kayaking 
90) to be proud of myself
91) to pick up
92) to have more sex
93) to be able to say 'im never going back there'
94) so my son can be proud
95) to be able to shift my focus to more important things
96) to stop beating myself up
97) because I want this
98) to have a shot at winning
99) to see the transformation
100) to find myself.. and be myself. 

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